How do you know you are in love?

How do you know you are in love?
When they make the impossible feel possible,
even though it is still not possible at all.

How do you know it's forever?
When your stomach still feels like it has been whipped up like cream,
even though it has already been three years.

How do you know you've found the one?
When you can only see them from across the room,
even though the room's jam packed.

How do you know?
When lying with them, time seems to stop,
even though a day can go so fast.
When they still see diamonds in your eyes,
even though you feel your worst.
When you hang on to every word they say,
even though you disagree.
When they are all you think about,
When nobody else could ever compare,
When life wouldn't make sense without them.

This is how you know you're in love.
But if you were, you wouldn't need to ask.

The Colours of Envy

Tall, slender,
a model of a girl
Eyes full of wonder
A smile of pearl

Elegant cheekbones
A portrait of a face
Soft and delicate
Hair always in place

With grace and intelligence
She had so many dreams
The world: her oyster
Her future gleamed

We used to be like sisters
But she was a cut above the rest
Living in her shadow
I was average at best

Myself: jealous and bitter
The ugliest shade of green
She had everything I wanted
She didn't need me

I saw her again, years later,
Four to be exact,
On a cold spring morning,
Dew resting on the bract

Alone on the street,
bag tight in her clutch,
Walked the pinnacle of beauty
I once envied so much

But she was no longer
Shining so bright
She looked fragile and broken
As her eyes shut tight

Tears on her porcelain cheeks
Like droplets of dew
The girl I longed to be
Is the shell of one I knew

As she grew closer
Something became clear
Her eyes were not only
The home to a few tears

Her alabaster skin
Under her empty eyes
Tainted with the darkest of purples
And the blues of night skies

The next I heard of her
She was no more
She took her last breath
Limp on the floor

The man she was safe with
Her one true love
Took her life from her
With every push and every shove

My shoulders ache
From the guilt they bear
She faced it alone
When I should have been there

My Paradox

(I may add to this)

I love the way you seem to know everything
But I hate how you always have to be right

I love how you look when you're sleeping
But I hate how you grind your teeth

I love getting messages when you're thinking of me
But I hate that it's when you're drunk

I love the way you're perfect for me
But I hate that I don't feel perfect for you

I love that I love you
But I hate that I can't stop

Ambivalence (not mine)

Not mine, found this reposted with no credit attributed

Ambivalence

you're not in love with her

If yelling at her in an argument doesn't make your throat burn like you just downed six shots,
you're not in love with her.
If her eyes can't make you stop in your tracks and think about what you are about to say next,
you're not in love with her.
If her laugh doesn't make you tense up your knuckles thinking about never hearing it again,
you're not in love with her.
If her voice can't calm your worst anxiety attacks and make you want to listen to anything she has to say, you're not in love with her.
If her smile doesn't make your chest quake and your lungs shrink but feel refreshed all in one motion,
you're not in love with her.
If her taking her clothes off is when you pay the most attention to her, you're not in love with her at all.

adulthood

the night showing no remorse
suffocated by a duvet
i never realised how fucked up i was
until i couldn't sleep

the birds aren't beautiful at 5am
not today
the coffee is bitter
i drink it anyway

singing in the shower doesn't exist
records play in my head
the intention is there
but my mouth remains unopened

i hate the postman
whose name i've never known
i've grown numb to his existence
poor mr postman

i was never good at DIY
i never learnt
but what is a screw without a screwdriver
because i can never fucking find one

I said I'd never touch a cigarette

I watched her sleeping  so peaceful and still
wondering if her eyes will open the next day
I felt so helpless, but what could I do
To take away the pain

I even prayed to something I never believed in
Every night for weeks
How can somebody be so fragile
Someone who once protected me

In the end the day came
I didn’t cry at first
But by the night there were no tears left
Time just made it worse

I  swore I saw a butterfly in my room
I swore it landed on my arm
The ones she used to teach me about
Telling me she’s never gone

I hope she’s knows she is never forgotten
And until we meet again
When I see those little white butterflies
I will always think of her

Hopelessly in love

I took down my walls
I don’t know what you did
Or when it happened
But I fell deeply insanely in love with you
and I can’t get out

A Letter to the New Girl

A letter to the new girl:
I hope you realise you have my world in your arms
And that he is more precious to me than you will know
I hope you know how to cheer him up
And know that he hates his throat being touched
But the back of his neck is fine
Remember that he also likes being the little spoon
And that he’s a good recipient of compliments
He will tell his friends all about you
So be nice, even if you don’t mean it
Know that he has the best intentions
But he sometimes needs time to breathe
Understand how wonderful he is
Because God knows, I do

Blissful simplicity

It’s when I’m having a bad dream
you stroke my hair and say it's okay
It’s when I’m drunk and yell at you
and you don’t get mad at the things I say
It’s when the sun rises without us realising
we’ve been up all night
It’s when I save you the last slice
not just to be polite
It’s when I look at you while you're driving
and I realise I can't see
A world where I'm without you
It's always you and me

Without you

You may be the drug,
that I am addicted to
You may be my poison,
and I am dying from you

You may be the book,
I am learning from
You may be the home,
Where I belong

You may be the forest
In which I can roam
You may be the light,
guiding me home

But you must know,
though my love is true
I am not nothing
without you

Home

Home is the sky
Home is the grass
Home is the birds at 5am
Home will always be home

The world is an avalanche
The world is fear
The world is being suspended in mid air
But home will always be home